Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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