He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I need moral support for this bender
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
