i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
