i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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