Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
