Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
