They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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