Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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