he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
