I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
