hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
don't judge my taste in strippers
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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