Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
