this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
All the doctor said was why
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
