Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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