god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
