garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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