Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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