Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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