I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
