she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
