he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
