High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
