Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
