Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
