I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
