Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you didnt know i had herpes?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
