I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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