1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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