Sponge bath it is.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
