i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The uberlube is also flammable
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
