I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You're like the curious george of whores
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
