i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
