I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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