we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
