i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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