I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
