carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
