She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
