Soap is not a condiment
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
