we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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