I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
