i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
