Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
