They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
