you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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