I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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