Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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