i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
