i just google imaged poop.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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