did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Pants are for mortals
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
