I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
