They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
